I know, it's odd. Very odd. But just keep reading, all right?


Tair strode across the blackened plain, waving his claws about menacingly. In the distance, the dark tower of El Pullo stood out of the ground, like a giant, black pickle. Within, the fair maiden Vona was held captive, and it was his task, nay, his duty, to rescue her.

Suddenly, a horde of Rakshasas came charging in his direction. Tair laughed. "Fools! You cannot hope to defeat me! I am a Hero!" Within seconds, all of the unsightly Grakk lay dead at his feet. Tair trunk smiled. "I told you so!"

As he approached the tower, he came across a deep moat. A sea monster rose out of it, roaring and shaking its head. "No worries!", said Tair, "I was always fond of seafood!" And he lept off the ground, and slashed it to death with his claws.

He continued onward, into the tower itself. Within, the walls were covered in bones and unfinished manuscripts. Suddenly, a Korgrath, wearing an eyepatch and brandishing a hook, stepped out of a corner and began cursing at him. "*********", it said loudly.

Tair gasped. "You will regret this!" He lept towards it, slashing at it with valor. The fight seemed to last for days, because it was lasting for days. Finally, Tair gained the upper hand, and chopped off the Daemons nose. The Korgrath sunk to the ground in pain, where he finished it off. "That will teach you to watch your mouth," said Tair.

He came into the throne room. There, Vona cried in a cage, suspended above a pit full of ravenous Geckadiles. The Dark Lord, Hectocapitus, laughed manicaly in the background. "Fiend!" shouted Tair, "You will regret crossing paths with Tair the True, the Just, the Mighty, the Valiant, the Good, the Strong..."

At that moment, a well-aimed plasma bolt struck Tair, and he vaporized.

Tair slammed the keyboard, cursing loudly. "What's wrong, Tair?", said Commander Grair, "Bursting into the room.

Tair looked up dismally. "I got so close this time. I got past Levels 1-3, but Hectocapitus killed me in the last level."

Grair nodded. He understood. "Yes, that level is hard. I've heard no Aian yet has won it. Never stop trying, though."

Tair brightened. "Well," he said, "I know I could not fail but to beat you at Grakkshooter!"

"You're on!", said Grair, throwing himself into a chair.

See AlsoEdit

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